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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Time We Were AH AH AH Done :(


So tonight I am up here blogging because Jack is a big boy and starting tonight, he's going to bed without "MILKS". Daddy is walking him into his bedroom to lie him down as I type. He's crying, but not uncontrollably. It started the day after his first Birthday. He was then nursing 4 times a day. Each week now I've cut out one milk and it's gone okay. The nap feedings were obviously the hardest, but last night holding that sweet little precious boy in my arms as he drifted off to sleep I knew that it was the very last time I'd get to be THERE. I shed a tear. I have loved every second of this amazing year and being able to be hisMum Mum. So there's the sap and here's the funny story. I have been teaching Jack sign since he was about 3 months. He signed to me for the first time when he was about 10 months old and then he was adding a sign or two each week. Now he's up to about 18-20. He very consistently signs ALL DONE by waving his right arm and saying AH AH AH AH. Usually he shakes his head a little too. He does this when he's all done eating, swinging, bathtime and riding in the wagon. He signs AH AH AH AH about 4-5 times per day. Last week when I took away his nap milk and he was down to just the bedtime milk it was quite obvious that I was not making much milk now since he was barely nursing. That night I sat down with Jack in my lap to nurse. He latched on with fury and immediately began to whimper. He got this giant pouty lip and looked straight up at me like.........where is the milk?? I asked him, "Is there any milk in there?" and he replied, "AH AH AH AH" shaking his arm and head together violently. I think that was his way of telling me he knew what was coming next........

The crying has stopped. My little boy is now fast asleep in his bed and dreaming. I know when I wake him in the morning he'll be smiling and probably the first thing he'll do is sign, "MILK" to which I will reply, Big Boys need Big Boy Breakfast. Lets go have a Nana and some Cheerios. He will help me plug in his night light in his little morning ritual and run over to the high chair to , "SIT UP" Life will go on as usual, and I will probably shed one more tear from my broken heart. :(

2 comments:

  1. Kara, that is hard!!! You are so lucky - sooo much luckier than many to have been able to breastfeed for that long and have it be a positive experience. I remember when we were ending the bedtime bottle and going through the emotions of that, holding him and feeding him a bottle like a baby, and it was so bittersweet to be ending. Only mothers truly understand that bittersweetness!

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  2. with each sad goodbye there is always something wonderful waiting for us around the bend.

    I live in FEAR about the day when my middle guy gives up his "puppy" - it's coming but...I will grieve for the loss b/c it is a part of his babyhood...

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