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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Why I’m not inviting my mother to read my blog…

Here is a flashback inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. The prompt being; Why I'm not inviting my mother (or mother-in-law) to read my blog.
The time I first went to Woodmen Valley Chapel


This should be an inspiring one right?
I get invited to a lingerie party at Eden. At this time, Eden was still fairly new and this was an invite only party. I figure I'll go and wear some sexy outfit that basically looks like a dress. No booby tassels or fishnets, wait- I did wear fishnets. Anyway, so I wear this hella tight little body sock thing that goes under a dress. It's all black and it covers everything that's important to cover. Breasts, belly, back, butt and came about 2 inches above my knees. Fairly conservative for a lingerie party if I say so myself.
Tyng and I at Eden's Lingerie Party
The party's fun, but gets boring and Eden is not a great fun place to dance (at least it wasn't at this time) We decide to go to Rum Bay. Now, Stop right there cuz I know what you're thinking. RUM BAY?? Seriously, but understand this was KARA B and at this time life revolved around 3 things; Gin Martinis, Dancing and Karaoke. C'mon people, Rum Bay has all these things, plus tons of crazy bastards to just watch and shake your head at.

So the decision was made. Rum Bay. My (so-called) friends were headed home to "change clothes" which I later learned meant, crash for the night and never come back. I didn't need to go home and change cuz I had brought my favorite black strappy dress to just put on over top of my underwear thing. I ended up at Rum Bay by myself, but I honestly barely noticed. When I got to the door, I asked the bouncer if I had to put my dress on to get in and he just kind of gave me this look like WTF? So, I was carrying my dress in one hand and cell phone in the other. My money and ID were stuffed in my fishnet stockings............Wow, never really realized how bad this story is until I sat down to type it out.
Singing "Piano Man"
I went straight to copy cats to sing Piano Man and Hurt So Good. While I was up singing I left my dress draped over the chair and disposable camera and phone on the table. When I came back from singing the second time, my effects had disappeared. I searched all over that bar (all 7 bars) looking for that dress and my phone. Every time I said it I got weirder and weirder looks. "Someone stole my dress and my phone" and then they just looked at me like, WTF?? So I just quit telling people.

I looked all over and finally gave up the search. I was outside Rum Bay crying when a group of people came up and asked me if I wanted them to pray with me. I was kind of like, Well......couldn't hurt. Maybe I can find my phone and dress through some divine intervention. We pray, I feel a little better. Still mad about the dress and then now that I'm feeling bad about those other things,I'm also feeling pretty bad about being out at the bar BY MYSELF without a phone or a ride. These nice praying people offer me a ride and I accept. The condition is that I go with them the next day to church and they will take me to my car afterward. I happily agree thinking they'll never come get me for church the next morning and I'll find a ride down here later.

Mama's Losin' ItThe next day I woke up, got ready and went to church. Dude was there on the dot to pick me up. That was the first Sunday that I ever went to Woodmen Valley Chapel. See THAT!?!? Sometimes you get drunk and robbed and end up crying in your underwear while weirdos just try to help you by saying a prayer for you and it's just like my Mother-in-Law says, "It always works out in the end." Pshhhhaaaat.


4 comments:

  1. Okay that is very strange - no idea where Rum Bay and Eden are though. :)

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  2. The last paragraph truly had me laughing out loud. I swear I'm not laughing at you but with you. You're laughing about it now, right? ;)

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  3. Thanks for the giggle!!! I hope you too are laughing about it!!

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