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Monday, November 15, 2010

Coffee, Ma'am?!..........uhh, NO!

10 reasons why I do not drink coffee.

# 10 It smells awesome when you grind it. It smells awesome when you brew it. There are a million things you can add that make it SMELL AWESOME.....but ultimately when you taste's Coffee. :(

# 9 Do you know how much a vente mocha costs at SB? All I can think of is what that $4 could buy me at Cold Stone.

#8 If you've ever met me you know that I really don't need caffeine.

#7 OJ is easier to say than a vente, fat-free, halfcaf, mocha, soy, latte, frappa whatever (it is quite obvious that I'd eff it up in a big way were I ever in the situation of ordering it). When ordering it for my husband on rare occasions I have to rehearse it all the way up to the counter like the "Loaf uh bread, stick ah buttah, containah uh milk." girl on Sesame Street.

#6 Coffee Breath

#5 There's no need for a morning jolt. A toddler peeing all over the bathroom floor will wake you up pretty quickly. And on the rare occasion that he makes the potty, there's always the darting to the edge of the steps and wobbling to a halt that will make you're heart race just like a good cup of Joe.

#4 There are enough other things that I drink or eat, way too hot, in which to inflict that terribly unique feeling of having a burned tongue. 

#3 Coffee stains are hell.

#2 Chai Tea is very yummy

No Joe for me!
#1 Allergies :)

My 5 year old nephew once told me that he was allergic to bread. I was very interested in hearing about his experience because, I too, am very intolerant of wheat (I just can’t take it anymore….ughh) and so I asked him, “What happens when you eat it?”
His response, “I say Yuck!”
That’s a pretty serious allergic reaction. In fact, I think that may be the same one I have to coffee. So, I don’t just dislike it, but according my nephew the allergist, I am also allergic to coffee.

Mama's Losin' It


  1. Hey, don't get me wrong, just because I drink coffee doesn't mean I say no to a glass of wine! Thanks for your visit:)

  2. i am truly impressed! i am a daily coffee drinker, but just one (big) cup in the morning. it's just as much for the comfort as it is for the caffeine! :) My H doesn't like coffee though so i know what you mean!

  3. Haha!
    I like your nephew's take on allergies.
    I'm going to use that next time its my turn to do dishes.
    Sorry, I'm allergic!

  4. I am glad you added the "wine comment" cause I was starting to get worried we couldn't be friends. It's all good now though.

  5. Still laughing at #7, and totally with you on #5.
    I'd be happy to share a bottle of wine with ya!

  6. I LOVE this - even though I LOVE COFFEE - an unnatrual lust that I feel for it!

    but I digress...

    I love that episode of Sesame Street - so funny that I knew RIGHT away what you were talking about!!

    2nd - I love your nephew's take on allergies -

    my students are allergic to theory lessons and notes:)

    3rd - I love your stuff!! You are a great writer!