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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

10 Things I have done.

I have officially lost my STAR WARS virginity, as of September 26th, 2011. I held out for 34 years through bus trips and slumber parties, even old STAR WARS crazy boyfriends. My husband finally decided it was time last month and so I gave in. It’s not the romantic wooing that I expected, I almost feel violated in some way, but hey, he’s my husband. I suppose it’s the least I can do for him.

I performed an “Open Pelt Surgery” on what my son calls his FUR BIRDY. His inherited Furby was in a coma. I vowed that I would do all I could to help, so I found this website and followed the directions to bring FUR BIRDY back to the land of the living.

I bought RED Juice and BLUE Juice from after reading SPEED CLEANING by Jeff Campbell. It is my housekeeping bible and I highly recommend it!

I have tasted the Devil’s Serum (AKA Pitocin) and all it got me was 8 hours of excruciating labor, 3 hours of constant pushing and a “might as well just cut her open” scar anyway. Damn you Pitocin!

I have met and married the man I swore was “Not out there” and I have managed to keep him around, despite my obsessive compulsive mothering habits.

I have been scolded in the 10 items or less checkout lane for not BAGGING my produce. “No Ma’am” (to the woman behind me) “ each of my apples does not count as an item” L

I have worked as a 4AM cookie baker, pharmacy technician, waitress, camp counselor, bartender, hotel desk clerk, speech therapist and most recently, MOM.

I raised over $3500 in personal donations and walked 60 miles for THE BREAST CANCER 3-DAY event in Minneapolis in 2004. This will always be a great source of pride to me. It was an amazing event infused with vivacious women, laughter and a huge dose of spirit. Check it out! I got goosebumps just visiting the site to get the link up.

I thoroughly sprayed down and wiped clean the toilets in the toddler bathroom at my son’s daycare when I dropped him last Monday. They weren’t really even that bad, my OCD is just THAT BAD.

I have been impressed, humbled, tested, badgered, injured, delighted, exasperated, woken, used as a tissue, humiliated, strangled, amused, rushed, inspired, amazed but most of all deeply loved by my LM – Jacky Vince 

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

We all BAWL for Ice Cream

A writing prompt from 

There is a topic in our house which is extremely emotionally charged. At first, I thought that I would go with the “10 things not to ask your spouse” prompt but in compiling my list I found myself perseverating on this topic. Here is my draft of the list;

  1. “Have you seen the Ice Cream Scoop?” –Valid question as we have just one. I have tried to tell my husband repeatedly that if he must remove the Ice Cream Scoop from the dishwasher and wash it by hand in order to serve himself up another bowl because the dishwasher has not run since the last time he ate Ice Cream, he may have a problem.
  2. “Did you pick up Ice Cream at the store?” to which I generally respond, “Was it on the list?” to which he retorts, “It’s a standing order, honey!”
  3. “Did you eat all the Ice Cream?” Let me preface this explanation by letting you know that I  am not the one who asks this question and also, I  am not generally the guilty party. He sleepeats!
  4. “Honey….?”  as I’m typing this list, “… should Ice Cream be capitalized?”  I didn’t really wait for a response….. it’s a proper noun. It’s the first and last name of a famous frozen confection. Good enough for me. 
You kinda gettin' the point? Well....

... as I skimmed the rest of the prompts I stopped dead in my tracks. What was the last thing my child cried about? Oh, GAWD!! We’ve created a 2 year old monster. Wanna know what it was?

Ice Cream. 
Capital ICE. Capital CREAM

Our child is just as obsessed as we are. So, rather than write in his perspective, here’s a 2 minute glimpse of the half hour melt down (littered with delirious giggling, creating some large holes in his "SAD" act) that we encountered when the Ice Cream was GONE! 

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Wordless Wednesday....The end of SUMMER :(

As the air turns crisp and the apples are even crisper. As the shorts go into storage and the dark evening sky comes earlier and earlier to steal away our long trips to the pond, I can't help but open my arms in a big welcome to my favorite season of all......